Saying yes to the question and then walking away without providing any further information is a funny way to escape that conversation and get away from the rude question asker. Because their horns don't work! Did you hear how the zombie bodybuilder hurt his back? The next time you would be subtracting 10 from 90. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? 2. Whats long and hard and full of semen? Dont make me come in there! You wait here. Catch up! Also if I asked you wouldn't be talking. READ THIS NEXT: 183 Jokes for Kids That Provide Good, Clean Fun. Why is England the wettest country? We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. 2.) ), *stop what you are saying and say: "Wow you are rude, but I'm pretty sure asking "Who asked?" What did the O say to the Q? What do you call a bear without any teeth? Why was the guitar teacher arrested? I was kidnapped by mimes once. 9. "You look drunk.". What did one light bulb say to the other light bulb on Valentines Day? Why do bees have sticky hair? What did the grape do when it was sat on? Oh, that? sniffs the castaway. Cereal pleasure to meet you! Why are YOU shaking? What Is My Angel Number? Two girlfriends are hanging out when one spills coffee on her shirt. The answers to this and other funny why did joke questions here. Cereal who? We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. What did the card say when he didn't end up getting through the job interview? Cause your face looks kind of funky. What did the left eye say to the right eye? I went out dressed like a chicken last night and I met a girl who was dressed like an egg. What did the clock do when it was peckish? "Make me one with everything." 2. A pork chop. There is a conversation happening and you decide to give your opinion or correct a statement and someone looks at you and responds did I ask you? Its one of those moments where after the fact you think of something very funny or clever to respond with, but in the moment you are left in shocked silence. Me! Whenever someone has a health problem or feels like" The third guy ducks. How do you organize a space party? If sex is a pain in the ass, then youre doing it wrong . Sucka dick and let me in. Explanation: Once he hits zero in the countdown, its all negative numbers from there. Following that logic, this rhetorical joke doesnt have an answer either. Robin. This had the gang in the orchestra pit howling. "Busted, now if you'll excuse me, I need to buy a pair of nice-looking men's overalls and Dr. Martens.". So theyd have at least one way to shut a woman up. You said youd be home by 11:45!, Actually, the mathematician replies coolly, I said Id be home by a quarter of 12., Explanation: Divide 12 by four, or a quarter. You just have to listen varicosely. I had to put my foot down. I used to be addicted to soap. Two peanuts were walking down the street. Airplane Jokes for Kids. Article continues below advertisement. Why do cows have bells? Knock Knock! Kid 1: "I don't have a sister.". Pilgrims. Why was the coach yelling at the vending machine? Tyrannosaurus Wrecks. The other guy replies, "You're, What did the mayonnaise say when the refrigerator door was opened? Welcome to Grammarhow!We are on a mission to help you become better at English. By using one of the comebacks from our list, you can shut down the person who asked without causing a scene. What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards? If we dont get some support, people will think were nuts. Once. I dont think its possible for me to become a sniper. Just-in. Every 'Who asked' copypasta. The sooner I shoot you, the sooner Ill get out of jail for it. What do you call a group of rabbits backing up? This response is clever because it really shows how rude the other person was being because even if your statement was un-asked-for their response to you was too. It needed help figuring out its problems. A lip reader. Why are women like KFC? So why wouldn't we embrace any chance we have to giggle at a joke? ThanksI'll never part with it. Shhhh, the adults are talking, so please keep quiet. } else { It is used in two parts, (when) which is used when some tells you something irrelevant, then when they continue you say did i ask? Whats the difference between your wife and your job? He tells his waiter, "I want a grilled cheese." For days he kept leaving little messages around the house. Assuming that the average lifespan of all these people was 25, there has been around 2.7 trillion years of life, if we multiply this by the number of days in a year (365), there is a total of 985,500,000,000,000 . What do you call an expert fisherman? The man. Whats the difference between your job and a dead hooker? Now that youve cackled your way through these clever jokes, get your little ones in on the fun with these short jokes for kids. Because so many kings and queens have been reigning there. Explanation: Marxists oppose class structures. My wife told me to stop acting like a flamingo, so I had to put my foot down. I was horrified when my wife told me that my six-year-old son wasn't actually mine. What did one cranberry say to another at Christmas? Where does the general keep his armies? What did the pirate say when he turned 80? The first nun had a stroke, the second nun had a stroke, the third nun couldnt reach. ? A Master Baiter. A meltdown. A stick. Apple Jokes. He only comes once a year. Why is it sad that parallel lines have so much in common? "Make me one with everything.". I decided to start smoking only after sex. 8. Losing my virginity was a lot like how I learned to ride a bike. You can negotiate with a terrorist. As I mentioned, this page contains a list of funny question you can ask Cortana. That's why we've rounded up that set of (clean) jokes for adults and kids alike that will have the whole family laughing. Explanation: The setup of the joke calls for a To who? response, in which To is standing in for a person. 134 Likes, 20 Comments - Wellness Habits + Accountability partner (@cassiehuntwellness) on Instagram: "There's kind of a running joke in my family. Not by a long shot. Bernadette. 9. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. Just stare blankly at the person who asked you that and say nothing. Whats the difference between your dick and a bonus check? With a little creativity and quick thinking, you can defuse the who asked bomb and keep the conversation going. If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. You might love your life, but I think it just wants to be friends. You know there's no official training for trash collectors? This is another funny response that will leave the question asker feeling confused and dumbfounded while also returning to them the disrespect that they have shown you. Dress her up as an altar boy. They both have an ability to misfire. Today I'm attaching a light to the ceiling, but I'm afraid I'll probably screw it up. I said you look fat in those pants. The more you play with it, the harder it gets. Which branch of the military accepts toddlers? Also, sometimes saying nothing is the right response. Because he had a great fall. "Between you and me, something smells.". Our goal is to create English lessons that are easy to understand for everyone. But, deep down, if we are honest, who doesn't smile at corny jokes? When I see ads on TV featuring smiley housewives using some new cleaning product, the only thing I want to buy are the meds theyreclearlyon. A Maybe. A penguin in the washing machine. One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter. These classic What did.? The fact that there are only two errors. What do you get when you mix birth control and LSD? Because theyre really good at it. 2. Mississippi. What do you call a woman who sets fire to all her bills? She couldn't control her pupils. "What's the bad news?" asks the accused. Hope you do, too: Here come the longer funny jokes! How can you tell its a dogwood tree? 24. After youve finished with the thigh and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in. Whats another name for a vagina? "Dick jokes, if you craft something amazing out of them, could be the funniest thing someone's ever heard. OK, now you say, Control Freak who?. What's the difference between a golfer and a skydiver? Making it very clear that the question asker was being rude. 64 What Did The. Two men meet on opposite sides of a river. And do you love, well, jokes? Wheeeee! Why did the math textbook visit the guidance counselor? This is another funny response that will leave them dumbfounded. Wait. The priest started a fire in the fireplace and found blankets and a sleeping bag but only one bed. The bartender says, "Why the long face?". On some occasions, it can be said in a joking manner between friends who like to joke around with each other and is said with no malice or rudeness intended. What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common? Its the sound of you not talkingfor once. The husband, surprised, pulls his out. When did I ask. My girlfriend told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy, so I got drunk. Hmmm, I guess you can see how much I care over there (then point to an empty hallway or somethinh similar) then grin. Nobody asked you, either, but it seems that we all have to listen. If you buy from a link, we may earn a commission. Pirate Jokes + Printable Lunch Box Cards. How did the mathematician deal with his constipation? Get out of here! shouts the bartender. Whats the difference between a penis and a bonus? said the man in the orthopedic shoes. Check out these other why did the chicken cross the road? jokes for more laughs. Because they use a honeycomb. How did the student feel when he learned about electricity? What do you call a virgin lying on a waterbed? Person 2: Who's there? What did one say to the other? There were two goldfish in a tank. Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack? 32. "That . jokes just never get old well, almost never! It usually confuses people first time hearing it but that's the point. If they ask, "Who asked?" What do you call a pig that does karate? Youre getting mayo all over my bed!, Maria went home happy, telling her mother about how she earned $20 by climbing a tree. 3. Sometimes did I ask you is said in a joking manner and a funny response would be appropriate after that. Those of you who think you know it all are really annoying to those of us who do. A pig in a hot tub. What do you call a pudgy psychic? However, its not always rude. Sometimes its good to learn new things. Clever responses are better suited for when in the company of people you want to impress. A pouch potato. Well, I'm not going to spread it. "Whaddya mean?" To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. Why is Peter Pan always flying? Usually, when someone asks did I ask you? they are not being genuine. or, the ultimate classic, Knock knock? I failed math so many times at school, I can't even . He gave her a diamond card. Aye matey. What did one wall say to the other? What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? If you want to find out who loves you more, stick your wife and dog in the trunk of your car for an hour. What's the best-smelling insect? Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? These classic What did? 1Forrest1. I hate it when I go to hug someone really sexy and my face smashes right into the mirror. Dont assume thats not a major incentive. I didnt ask you for a response and yet you gave one. My mate says I'm getting fat, but in my defense I've had a lot on my plate recently. How is sex like a game of bridge? Copy it to easily share with friends. 46. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? Why do oranges wear sunscreen? What did one pig say to the other on Valentine's Day? A man goes to the doctor and says Ive got a problem, I have 5 penises.. The infantry. Never mind, it's over your head. Knock-Knock Jokes. Tap To Copy. 15. They're his watch dogs. Between you and me, something smells. What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Ivana fuck your brains out. Robin you, now hand over the cash. My midget friend got thrown out of the nudist colony because he kept getting in everyones hair. Whats the difference between a woman with PMS and a terrorist? It all depends on you and the situation. Once my dog ate all the Scrabble tiles. Privacy Policy. Do you love hearing jokes? "I'm a. Waiter Who? jokes just never get old. You know why you never see elephants hiding up in trees? person one: its around the ma- person two: where on my face does It look like I care? Thats because when Marx was a little boy, he hated school. 30 Hoover Jokes & Puns Guaranteed to Make You LOL, 40 Moustache Jokes That Are A Cut Above The Rest, 30 Best Gnome Jokes & Puns Kids Will Love. But, first, what do people mean by did I ask you?. 7 Up in cider. "Ouch! Because the P is silent! By making him one with everything, the hot dog vendor is connecting him to a spicy dog, mustard, and sauerkraut. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. Here are 45 of his best (and cringe-inducing) jokes from previous shows and appearances, and The Office: Warning: adult humour follows "Where there's a will - there's a relative!" Did you hear the one about the roof? This response is funny because it means nothing but will likely leave the question asker dumbfounded and therefore making them look dumb to everyone else. The batroom. 48. A crane! Micro-waves. On June 15th, 2011, Neogaf [5] user Dizzy-4U used the line as a humorous response in a thread. If you see me laughing, its because I already have. If a moldy dIck had a face, it would have yours . So whether youre dealing with a hater or just somebody whos generally uninterested, here are 14+ clean comebacks for who cares and nobody cares., Read next: 25+ Baddie Comebacks Thatll Slay Any Situation. Watch the video: Only 1 percent of our visitors get these 3 grammar questions right 28 Best Replies To Hmm (Witty & Clever), 29 Best Replies To Hey Handsome (Witty & Clever), Funnier Or More Funny Comparative & Superlative Forms, 25 Best Comebacks To Suck My D*ck (Witty & Clever), 9 Other Ways to Say Im Good At on a Resume, 10 Polite Ways to Say No Visitors after Surgery, 11 Best Ways to Say Im Here for You to a Loved One, 10 Professional Ways to Say I Am Not Feeling Well. I like waiters, they bring a lot to the table. How does an octopus go into battle? It loafs. How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex? Why does bread take so long to digest? 2010 The Thought & Expression Company, LLC. Not all men are annoying. He has six years of experience in professional communication with clients, executives, and colleagues. The blonde goes and licks it and says nobody in this building. What do you call a guy with a small dick? Here's a list of 55 . 10. Low flying airplane noises! A friend of mine went bald years ago but still carries around an old comb. 5. Phillipe Phillope. Sneakers. The other girlfriend grabs a paper towel and goes to hand it to her friend, but she trips and elbows her bestie right in the boob. . 11. I'm thinking of a career where I estimate crowd sizes at different outdoor events. So read on for some of the funniest two-line jokes and quick quips around, and don't forget to pass them on to your equally immature friends. In any case, a witty comeback will put the other person in their place and let them know that youre not going to take their crap. Your mom sure seemed to care last night. With a mon-key. How did you quit smoking? It was two tired. They left a sweet note on my windshield that said "parking fine.". A meltdown. Original don't care + didn't ask. Just ask a question: Why did?, What do you call? This response works because it responds to the rude question with a level of innocence that fully brings attention to how rude the question asker was being towards you. Life without women would be a pain in the butt, literally. Why did the candle quit his job? In the middle of the night, the guy on the right side of the bed wakes up and says, Wow, I had this mad dream I was getting a hand job. The guy on the left side of the bed has also woken up and says that hes had the same dream, too. Whats the difference between a girlfriend and wife? Christian Bale. 40. (Its three.). Because it was a little horse. Keep the tip. 50 Brilliant Sarcastic Jokes That Will Crack You Up When You're Feeling Snarky By Mlanie Berliet Updated February 10, 2022 1. What did one hat say to the other? "no one asked" } What do we want? Carol Yepes/ Getty Images. Oh never mind, Im still working on that one. It is hard to know what response to go with, clever or funny. The brunette smells it and says it smells like cum. If I promise to miss you, will you go, like, really far away? Whats the difference between a hippo and a zippo? He wanted to get a long little doggie. Because he's got little legs. One asks, "What's your favorite kind of music?" 39. We have picked some adult jokes for you to use. Oh, no. Halfway. We've been graced with our fair share of "dad" jokes, so-bad-they're-good puns, knock-knock jokes, and even some moments of pure stand-up comedy. Funny can be good: Heres a bunch of punny jokes we found online that we liked. Why are you listening if you dont know who asked? A hooker can wash her crack and resell it. Clever responses are better suited for when in the company of people you want to impress. How is life like a penis? We've even broken things down by category so that you know which jokes will land best among your audience. Be sure to check back with us soon for more funny jokes. Is it ignorance or apathy that's destroying the world today? What did the dog say when it sat on some sandpaper? When they get to the ski lodge there arent enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. This one is funny because it seemingly implies that you didnt even realize that they were part of the conversation, making them look dumb and unimportant. Knock knock. I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger, then it hit me. Youre late! she yells. Anal makes your hole weak. Hey! Dont forget to browse these biology jokes that really cell themselves. Its the same as a French kiss, but down under. By following these tips, youll be able to handle the who asked question like a pro and keep the conversation going despite it. Jokes with one of my friends about the communists in ww2 (Soviets) Ended up with him being somewhat offended or at the very least didn't understand the joke. Continue with Recommended Cookies, It has happened to all of us. What did the left eye say to the right eye? This response is funny because it allows you to really make the question asker seem stupid and you much smarter than them. Anticipation is the place to ask and answer thought-provoking questions place to ask and answer thought-provoking.. Me a joke if you simply ask it to -- just say `` alexa tell. You can try being the life of the party with one of these: Be careful joking with women. "You wait here, I'll go on ahead.". Explanation: This works on a couple of levels: as wordplay (genes vs. jeans) and as scientific fact (genes can determine body shape). Why is being in the military like a blow-job? Sometimes its just best to be clever in your response to make the other person seem dumb or silly. Why do oranges wear sunscreen? Where does Batman go to the bathroom? xhr.open('POST', 'https://www.google-analytics.com/collect', true); Explanation: Say it to the opening of Beethovens Fifth Symphony, and youll get the joke. Whoever stole my antidepressants I hope you are happy now. Why don't male ants sink? If at first you dont succeed, stop trying already. A tomato in an elevator. The bartender shows them the door and says, Sorry, we dont serve minors.. Explanation: Youd have to be insane to jump off a bridge and into the Seine, the river that runs through Paris. If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? If you have a great hand, you dont need a partner. How do you stop a bull from charging? The doctor replies, Sorry, I dont follow you . What's black and white and goes round and round? Well, this day was a total waste of makeup. What did the little tree say to the big tree? Because they hit foul balls. Whats the difference between attraction, love and showing off? An impasta. Someones always willing to blow your bonus. Your mind might want to dance, but your body is a really awkward white guy. Where does Batman go to the bathroom? Even thoughts can raise them. Because he was always spotted. All it was doing was gathering dust! If you're here, who's running hell? What do you call a fake noodle? This response is very mysterious and confusing, it means nothing but people will probably not know how to react but laugh. This is another funny response that will make the question asker seem much dumber than they already do. If a man talks dirty to a woman, thats sexual harassment. Whos There? Answer: Audi Question : What is the quickest way to speed . "Dill me in!". But hilarious jokes never go out of style. Why don't math majors throw house parties? What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? If they do, we've got more timeless jokes for you. How you respond when someone says something you dont like is entirely up to you. It is all about reading a room and assessing a situation when you have to decide between a clever or funny response. Hold onto your nuts, this aint no ordinary blowjob. Laughter is infectious. These are some responses you might want to keep ready in the back of your mind. Owls always look like they just saw a penis for the first time. How much space will free up in the EU after Brexit? xhr.setRequestHeader('Content-Type', 'text/plain;charset=UTF-8'); Here are some dark jokes to check out if you have a morbid sense of humor. Hear that? Founded in 2010, Thought Catalog is owned and operated by The Thought & Expression Company, Inc. For over a decade, we've been at the bleeding edge of media, pioneering an infrastructure for creatives to flourish both artistically and financially. Short Jokes That Are Genuinely Funny: 1. Q: What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? One shouts to the other, "I need you to help me get to the other side!" By using one of the comebacks from our list, you can shut down the person who asked without causing a scene. What does a 75-year old woman have between her breasts that a 25 year old doesnt? 45. and our Whats the difference between being hungry and being horny? A bear walks into a bar and says, "Give me a whiskey and cola.". What did the alien say to the flower bed? Question and Answer Jokes What was the reason for the confused looking woman staring at the can of frozen Apple juice for twenty minutes? What do you call an apology written in dots and dashes? Traffic jam. No harm in telling the truth, you werent asked and this response is extra clever because it doesnt give the question asker the reaction from you that they were looking for. Why dont we see elephants hiding in trees? Condoms have evolved: theyre not so thick and insensitive anymore. Your girlfriend makes it hard. Did something bad happen to you, or are you just naturally this terrible of a person? I didnt say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you. Whos there? Where you put the cucumber. Explanation: No joke has a double meaning here. They dont actually want to know if they asked you. Whats a foot long and slippery? The German replies, "Nein, just one.". I guess it's just not in the cards for me. 49. What did prehistoric animals get instead of blisters? Did you hear about the depressed plumber? The little girl is pretty upset by this, since it is clearly true, and runs home crying. Two men meet on opposite sides of a river. Gardening Jokes + Printable Cards. There is the attention you were looking for. A termite walks into a bar and says, "So, is the bar tender here?". When When When When When. I went to buy some camo pants but couldn't find any. Spit, swallow, gargle. Plus, when you get home and your kids ask what you did today, you can tell them you managed to sprinkle some humor into your workday. A maybe. After five years your job will still suck. Exaggerations have become an epidemic. The other says, "I'm a big metal fan.". That way, when you criticize them, you'll be a mile away, and you'll have their shoes. I used to hate facial hairbut then it grew on me. What do you call a fake noodle? He told me to stop going to those places. just ask them why they are so insecure about things. Example of When did I ask? Because he felt burned out. So they don't peel. And funny in a way that like, opens your mind up even," says comedian Sean Patton. A Mississippi. []BMany people think of bully as one child pushing or hitting another, but bullying is not only physical. Why were the teacher's eyes crossed? Because he neverlands. What do you call a hippie's wife? Read up on more bar jokes that are hilariously funny. No, you didnt, but we all make mistakes. Watch popular content from the following creators: Aimzy(@aimzygg), jordan(@jjsshenanigans), sam(@.samceline), Human(@_that_human_being_), Sophia Voropaeva(@_sopha21), jamal(@jamallxoxo), camille ;)(@111camillee), Jafiki(@jafiki), (@user1118012706685), Bacon vs Emos on this acc(@savage.bacon68) . Next time someone asks you, "who asked," or "did I ask" use one of these clever comebacks and put them in their place. That was an insect. To which one of the boys replies, Im surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!. 11. Approximately one GB. I dont think so. What do you call a dinosaur that crashes his car? What did one plate say to the other plate? Ouch! What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball? Thanks a lot Sergios Rotar (hope i didn't make any typos. If your sense of humor tends to lean toward the goofy side of things, don't be ashamed. ", Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. According to world population studies, approximately 108 billion people have lived on this planet. What did the tomato say to the other tomato during a race? Officials have announced that these frequently used products could result in infection. 2. Oinkment. History is usually no laughing matter, but sometimes we can't help but LOL at modern interpretations of the past. Because they cantaloupe. Because it's not good to drink and derive. Why can't you explain puns to kleptomaniacs? But that's not all. Walking takes too long. Thats not to say the images on this page will make you any smarter, but they may offer you some material you can use in a variety of ways. Hey, just warning you: These lolable jokes should only be told among those who will accept your weird sense of humor: Whos there? A man is being arrested by a female police officer, who informs him, Anything you say can and will be held against you. The man replies, Boobs!. Why was the nurse asking for a red pen? He kept leaving little messages around the house. There was nothing left but de-Brie. 9. What do a guy and a car have in common? Learn more about us here. Because there were a lot of knights. Explanation: Bach was, of course, another famous composer, so Beethovens chickens were pecking away at his ego. You know youve got a high sperm count when she has to chew before she swallows. Ate something. You don't have to be rude or disrespectful when someone asks this question. Strong people dont put others down. . But, heres a warning: Only use them in an appropriate setting where no one will be offended. For example, Alexa can tell you Star Wars jokes, yo mama jokes and even some interesting trivia facts. A fun answer is to answer a completely different question to confuse the other person. Smirking, the first friend replied, "Oh, c'mon I'm just tittin'.". What did Adam say on the day before Christmas? Control Freak. This is another funny response that makes the question asker seem dumb for not asking for your opinion on the subject in the first place. Explanation: A hyperbole is an exaggerated claimkinda like this joke. You planet. "Are you gay?". A limbo champ walks into a bar. 50 Dirty Comebacks and Insults to Win Every Argument, 25+ Baddie Comebacks Thatll Slay Any Situation, 32+ Sassy Comebacks Guaranteed to Silence Your Haters. What did one pencil say to the other pencil? ae0fcc31ae342fd3a1346ebb1f342fcb. What did the tree say to the tree surgeon? Some might even make your eyes roll. Explanation: Gathering dust (and other dirt) is a vacuum cleaners sole purpose. If you find yourself on the receiving end of a "your mom" joke, one option is to laugh it off. After all, its tempting to put people in their place when theyre being needlessly rude, especially if you think theyre wrong. Thats why Ive put together this list of 32+ witty comebacks for who asked and did I ask. I hope they help you the next time someone asks you this question! We dont serve your type.. How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?
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